Another Note on THE DAY

So, I do know that there's supposed to be nothing special at the day. Any gestures, any gift, at any random day would be the same meaning because all that matters is the subject - that is, who and whom - not when nor what.

But, our life needs a little bit celebration, right? And you can't make it everyday, because celebration everyday is kind of tiring and not-so-special anymore. You need a special day, maybe even two special days, or three, and so forth, to celebrate each year. Call it birthday, happy new year, christmas, Lebaran, chinese new year, anniversary, and.. valentine's day and any other special day. You need to look forward to these days, and when they come and pass-by, you need them as your beautiful memories to hold on to, to make you smile again, and quoting YUDA, to re-charge the battery in your heart.

And this V-day, although you can celebrate it with your friends (especially single friends), the taste would not be the same. Because once you step out the door of your house, you would see couples everywhere, and you would begin wondering, "WHY am I (still) single now? Where's the guy of my life?". This sucks, for you would start second-guessing yourself (maybe not all of you, but it's me. I do this): are you not worth it?

So, I am officially miserable, because I am afraid of loneliness. I don't wanna end up lonely. Kind of ridiculous and silly, because I am not lonely, in reality. Gosh, being AJ is hard already. Why do I have to make it harder for myself?