A little rain inside me, a little pain inside me. A little dose of mellowness to compromise the life, in a precise amount.


Saturday, May 24, 2008

The Pain

There’s this line I quoted somewhere, anonymously, as far as I can remember. It said that it’s the pain that keeps us know we’re alive.

I kind of disagree. We know we’re alive, long as we know we think. Cogito ergo sum, Socrates said. Or, we know we’re alive, because we breathe.

But what is pain then? Why we have to experience it? Why does that sensation even exist?

I’m not talking about physical pain. It’s about emotional pain, for instance, the pain we experience when the one we love all the way, leave us. Maybe even the pain we experience because we’re foolish enough to do regretful things, because of any failure we face. No matter what kind of emotional pain we face, it hurts. It hurts a lot. Often, people run away. People hide from it.

Why? Why then pain? Why the miserable feeling? The pain we exactly want to avoid, but it sticks with us like glue. It sucks.

I am not soft. I can endure the pain. I can take it. But the problem is, I don’t want it. Yet, I’m in pain now. And I don’t know how to cure it. I can only run. I can only be emotionally foolish, and foolishly emotional, at the same time. Can I be emotionally foolish, or foolishly emotional, then? Without me myself judging about myself? Is it just fine to let your feeling take away yourself? Am I running away? Is running away the same as being coward?

One thing I know, and I’m sure, I’m not the only one. How many people out there are feeling the same pain? Raise your hand. I’m not even gonna be the last, because it’s endless. People cant really avoid the pain.

So, there is no other choice for me, but to face it. Compared to other pain, maybe my pain is not that miserable. Maybe I am not that pathetic. A friend, Nomad, told me that I have to stop pity myself. And that’s what I’m doing. And I learn, that even if it’s miserable not to be able to get what you want, it’s far better than not knowing what you really want. That even if I’m afraid, I must not back off.

The pain, it’s one of the bliss we have on this perishable world. It’s the feeling that teaches us how to count our blessing. It’s the feeling that keeps our head down to earth. It’s the feeling that makes our happiness become more valuable. That’s all.

2 punches:

savante said...

Takes a while to get over the pain. Talk it over with your friends, shed a few tears. It helps.

Reis's said...

Paul, I've only cried for two men. One was my Dad, the other was my ex.