A little rain inside me, a little pain inside me. A little dose of mellowness to compromise the life, in a precise amount.


Saturday, March 14, 2009

to HIM, who thinks that I am not Worthy.

Have you ever had this feeling?
when you saw someone happily together
yet you are all alone by yourself walking
on the street... in the car.. or on a boat
or wherever you are

I always think
that this world is far too lonely, too sad

(Cloud, Bangkok Love Story, Opening Narrative)

I am tired. I am still damaged. But I wanna heal. I wanna fix myself. I am not shutting myself down.
I do push people away, but in the truth, I have always stayed. Because I am human. You are human.

Even it's complicated, I know I live this kind of life. I dont get to choose who I am: There IS NO CHOICE. Why cant people grow up and finally accept who they are?

I am tired. But I am not THAT tired
I am damaged. But I am not THAT damaged.
I don't spend the minutes of my days just to worry if he is too old, too young. Or worry if He and I meet somebody I know in the middle of the jungle just to get panic in trying to explain his status to the person.

I am 23. I watched AVATAR. Crazy about Grey's Anatomy. Adore Kevin Walker that much. Hate HEROES but feel the curiosity about the plot. That doesn't make me childish. YOU have to know that.

2 punches:

Zhou Yu said...

If he thinks you are not worthy, it can only mean one thing. He doesn't deserve you, since he cannot see the real beauty in you..

Sabar ya Ed, masih banyak cowok lain di dunia...

Reis's said...

Gw seh ga masalah ya, dia mau ama gue apa ndak. Sama kasusnya kayaq JT. Gw cuman concern aja. Makanya gw bilang, gw dark and damaged. Tapi setidaknya gw sadar. Mereka? Dark and damaged, tapi merasa baik2 saja. Ga habis pikir. Dan itu bikin gemes. Bikin penasaran.

Dan di atas itu semua, gw tau gw cuman kayaq segelas air putih. Sementara di depan mereka, ada cowok lain, yang mahalnya kayaq anggur putih. Mana sempet si air putih nan malang itu dilirik. hahaha