Untitled.

Burke...
Burke was, uh...
He took something from me. He took little pieces of me...Little pieces over time, so small.. I didn't notice, you know?
He wanted me to be something I wasn't, and I made myself into what he wanted.
One day I was me- Cristina Yang. And then suddenly I was lying for him and, uh, jeopardizing my career and, uh,..agreeing to be married.
And wearing a ring and being a bride... Until I was standing there...in a wedding dress with no eyebrows, and I wasn't Cristina Yang anymore.
And even then, I would've married him.
I would have.


I lost myself for a long time.
And now...that I'm finally me again...
I can't...


I love you. I love you more than I loved Burke.
I love you.
And that scares the crap out of me because...


When you asked me to ignore Teddy's page, You took a piece of me...And I let you. And...that will never happen... Again.

                                      |Cristina Yang to Owen Hunt, Grey's Anatomy, S06E14

Perhaps, the me I am currently, is still that cynical person who thinks everything in a pessimistic way, solely for he believes that this way, he could really protect himself from being hurt.
Perhaps, the me I am right now, is still a selfish little boy who's trying too hard to make the world seem a more logical place, to make more sense of the life he's living.
Perhaps, the me I am this moment, is still that silly young man who's so naively questioning about happiness and what it has to do with love.
Perhaps, the me I am today, is still that one AJ who's desperately trying to personify LOVE, to define LOVE..


But...

Hopefully, there'd be a day, when he really knows that PAIN and HURT are just the process of living a wonderful life.. that PAIN and HURT and TEARS, perhaps, would help him grow wiser and stronger..

Hopefully, there'd come a moment, when he finally sees the world as it is, without judging, without frowning, but only with one big SMILE..

Hopefully, there may be a time in his life, that he finally could share happiness with people he loves that much... and at the time, hopefully also, he knows by his heart that love, as happiness, comes in so many forms... that all he needs to do is... to count his blessing.

Hopefully, there'd be a life ahead, when he could feel what Cristina Yang had been feeling, experiencing.......A love so scary, so over-whelming.. yet there, real, and he just can't live with it. Because love, is to celebrate.