Perhaps

Don't speak, I know just what you're saying, so please stop explaining. Don't tell me cause it hurts...

My world ends, at some point.
Kurt and Blaine just broke up.
I'm sorry for the spoiler.

You know, I always thought that cheating is okay. Long as your boyfriend is completely honest with you. And long as it doesn't involve kissing. But apparently for Kurt it is not okay.

Perhaps I'm missing things here.
Perhaps I don't know better.
I remember Ko Sugar told me once that it was not okay. He said that cheating is not okay at all levels.

And just once, I thought to myself, perhaps it's also nice to have that kind of someone. Someone with whom I don't even have to say that 'cheating is okay' because I know he won't.

Perhaps.

The Not-Really R-rated Dream

I had a weird dream last night.


I was ended in my bedroom somehow inside the dream - with a guy. Not a perfect stranger, but a guy I know pretty well. He was a colleague from office, about my age, cute. I was eying him for a while until I knew that he's married and with a daughter already.  I dropped the insane and unhealthy obsession for him - I was not young to play that kind of game; you know, where you're kinda being a secret admirer or something..

Anyway,  The details were hazy, but all I remembered was he's suddenly kissing me. We made out. Pretty intense, I would say, to a level you would blush whenever you met him in your real life - I met him this evening on my way home, and oh boy I hoped that I were not too obvious..

But the problem was not that.

The thing was, the fact that deep down I remembered vividly that I didn't enjoy the intense kissing. I remembered that I felt that something was not right. Somepart of me told me that he was not supposed to be the guy. He couldnt be the guy. Then... why did I kissed him back passionately? Where did that leave me?

I remembered pushed him away, looking at him trying to figure it out.

Just that and I woke up.
 It was exceptionally hot in B-town lately.

I'm fine

It's always raining in November. 

It's always raining in this lonely town. 

It's always raining in me. It's always raining in paradise somewhere somehow. 

And I remember things. 

I remember how we used to hug each other. 

I remember how we used to fight. 

I remember you. 

It's always raining in my eyes. 

It's always raining in me, somewhere somehow. 

Until a shelter, until another umbrella, another arm, another heart. 

Until then, I'm fine.