A little rain inside me, a little pain inside me. A little dose of mellowness to compromise the life, in a precise amount.


Friday, September 21, 2007

Meet The Porcupine

Been having phone-callings from my ex. Yeap, after almost 3 years since we said farewell to each other, he’s been calling me, again.

Nothing special - I do not intend to start our relationship over, and I bet he doesn’t too. The very first calls exactly resembled the song by Van Fan, entitled ‘Wang Le Ai’ (having forgotten love); he’s sharing his new relationship with some stranger guys that didn’t work out. He told me to a T, and I had to admit that I felt the pain inside. The pain for he’s been cheated by someone else, the pain for he chose people worse that me, the pain for he had finally left his discreet life, to be more open to PLU.. the pain for my stupidity, that I missed him nearly every day, hoped that he would call me to start this all over.

But, again, all is fair in love and war. So long as he’s happy, I’m happy for him too. At least, one of us could move on with his life. He keeps being better each day, I can say that. Good for him.

Then, by all my surprise, he asked about my date(s).
I told him that I had had no serious relationship after him. I met some guys, of course, but it didn’t work out. They’re either not my type or I’m not their type. Either, I’m not lucky with guys.

He told me that it’s quite predictable - and thanx, I’m not offended – since he knew my attitude well. According to him, I am the choosy one. I do not fall in love that fast. I need some time first, to know each other, before starting it. I need to make sure who the guy really is, whether the relationship will last, and so on. In short and easy term, it’ll give you a hard time to approach me.

I was silenced.

For a moment, I couldn’t say anything; because this was the second time I’ve ever heard this judgment.

Yet then I thought to myself. I know I’m not going to marry the guy as soon as possible. I also know that I have nothing to lose; meaning, not a boyfriend, just a friend ain’t a problem. I’m being honest to myself; why wasting time with some meaningless lust termed ONS? Besides, it doesn’t always taste good when you’re falling, including falling in love. Above all, I enjoy my single time – well, not that much, but ok-lah.

Meet the Porcupine. Maybe you can label me like that.
But for me, love is to fight for. It’s not always about the fun, the sex, and other pleasurable things. Move my heart; we’ll see what I can do for you. ;)

1 punches:

Chris said...

Hi, I can't find any contacts on your blog. Can I ask you to send a note for me? My email is in profile.
Thanks, Chris