Recently, there's a cute guy I found over the chat-room. We talked, and he, amazingly, was being so open, so no paranoid like aj these days. Long story short, he texted me often and asked to meet me. Standard SOP, and you know it already.
So, we met last Tuesday. I was late, and he already left the spot to go to karaoke with his aj friends. He was a bit in stress, so he needed to shout it out. I went to the karaoke lounge, and we met for the first time, officially. He gave a very good impression, you know. He texted me a few minutes after we parted, asking me about his first impression. He actually said that I was cute (!). And since then, we've been texting each other so regularly.
He texted me good morning and good night.
He asked me what I've been doing, regularly.
He asked me if I had my lunch or dinner already, and if I had, what was my menu.
He asked me to go with him to the cinema.
If you're me, what would you think? What does those text mean? Somehow, I thought that maybe this guy was interested, and he's not that bad, so I gave it a chance.
I learnt, by time, that he's not exactly the guy I've been looking for. I'm not practically single, so I thought, "Hey, lets play this game."
We met again last Saturday, and he chatted a lot, again. I learnt again, that the guy was actually like me. He's looking for a mature person in a relationship. He's resenting that people in the town are being so paranoid and not fair, and therefore, being jerk. He likes being alone at weekends, he dislikes the basa-basi chit-chat. And I was losing my passion more and more. So I began texting another guy - Guys, if you ever meet me, and see me texting every now and then, it only means one thing: I am bored.
Ultimately, he told me that he's more into friendship. For friendship doesnt need too much feeling inside. Friendship doesnt need too much emotion, and therefore he could avoid being heart-broken. It is still amazing, though, because apparently, this topic has been on my mind since I was back from Singapore.
Is there really a friendship in the aj world?
I have a few aj friends, who's just friend. But we're all not in the same town. And all of them are top guys - not that I asked them their roles, but I can really judge from their types of guys.
But bottom friends??
Perhaps I should change the question: Can a bot make friend to another bot? Or they would end up fighting, yelling, and slapping each other?
No offense here, but I do think that bot aj are very much sensitive. They're going to be mad for anything simple - which is one of my reasons avoiding having a relationship with a bot aj even though I'm sexless. Here, here, I'm not making a prejudice, but that's the fact I've been observing lately. Perhaps, to some people, a sensitive and spoiled (I was referring to 'merajuk', what's the English for that?) aj could be fun and adorable. But, sorry, not me.
I admit that I am not a perfect person. I make mistakes. I do things I'm not supposed to do. I say things I'm not supposed to say - or more like, I say things in a wrong manner and therefore, wrongfully understood. Okay, I admit my mistakes. I say sorry. I apologize. And I even let the offensed party to yell at me. But then there's like never a second chance. Or is it too much to give a second chance? Or am I simply just not worth it because I am a stranger into their lives, one person that gives no use to them?? Honestly, I dont know anymore. And really, I earnestly wish that there's a manual for Q relationship: boyfriends, partnership, Fuck-buddy, one-night-stand up to friendship.
So, I was silenced when he offered me a friendship.
So, in the end, I told him that I do believe in a Q friendship. Because I have it.
And at the moment, I remember someone I've hurt for I couldnt make the things like I've promised. So, to you, I had another appointment that weekend too, and I had to cancel it, and I didn't even tell him at the first place. You know what the other guy told me? He said, big deal, you couldn't make it, at least you'd have called me, but lets move forward. And I really wish you'd say that to me instead of giving me a silent treatment.... But anyway, your choice, and I'm really tired.
Maybe it's time again to hibernate. To stop exploring people in manjam or fridae, period. I don't know.
14 punches:
ehm kalo pengalaman gw sih kalo temenan emang malah lebih nyambung dari teman2 blogger daripada teman2 dari situs pertemanan Q gitu2 kalo emang cuma mau temenan
kalo cari fb sih ya situs2 gitu ya lebih pas kali ya
Can a bot make friend to another bot? Or they would end up fighting, yelling, and slapping each other? --> ngakakkk jaya.........huaahahahahah ketawa guling2, garuk2 aspal....hei gagfi nan jauh disana, "blogger2 bencong asyik" yang jadi teman gw itu mayoritas ***(ada sih yang ngaku top tp juga ga keberatan klo jd bot sometimes, melirik blog tetangga) *huaaaaaa, takut disambit rame2*. top or bot itu ga ngaruh kali. cakrawala loe perlu dibuka *i think you need a very mature and open minded friends and bf*
gw tahu orang yg silent ke loe, mungkin loe kurang meminta maaf. karena gw tahu sifatnya dan dia pasti memaafkan klo kamu serius *kyknya dia perlu disogok dikit2 sih, traktir ato beliin oleh2*
loe kan punya no hapenya, udah pernah sms ato telp yang bener2 serius minta maaf?
friendship itu menyenangkan loh, tiap kali gw ada masalah gw tahu mereka ada buat gw. Ga harus ketemu, sms-chat-telp itu udah menguatkan gw
@M..well.. temen2 top gw itu, dua dari chat-room, satu lagi karena kuliah bareng. Udah pernah ketemu, dan pernah pake acara menginap tempat mereka lagi. And it's fun koq.
@lucky.. gw udah berusaha membuka cakrawala. Bahwa yang namanya orang itu pasti ada sensitifnya.. tapi kalo sensitifnya sungguh terlalu, malas juga ya. haha..
Soal orang yang silent itu... well, gw udah say sorry koq... dan terus terang aja, gw ga bisa memenuhi janji gw bukan karena gw ga mau, tapi karena gw ga bisa. Gw ga bisa. Gw ga bisa karena gw sakit. TTM gw di Sing bilang, kalo loe ga merasa bersalah, kenapa mesti minta maaf? Dan terus terang aja, gw ga merasa bersalah. Tapi gw TETEP minta maaf. Ga lewat SMS sih.. tapi lewat YM. hehe. Dan gw serius minta maaf koq. Pake hati. Tapi ya sudah, apa yang sudah terjadi ya terjadi..kalo dia emang masih PW dengan silent-treatment-nya dia, what can I say?
Soal telpon, you have to know gw bukan tipe yang 'aman dan nyaman' dalam melakukan dan menerima telepon.. Sama TTM gw aja, ga ada satupun yang gw telpon. Salah satu faktornya ya karena sinyal di sini jelek amat.. suaranya kresek2 mulu dan gw juga udah agak budeg karena keseringan pake earphone. Adanya ntar malah tambah bete. haha..
Gw jadi inget serial Dharma and Greg. Next time gw posting deh apa yang bisa gw dapat dari serial itu..
eh, lucky.. dia cerita ke elo ya? hahaha.... *seneng*
Itu artinya dia masih peduli *biar lebih banyak keselnya* sama adeknya ini. hahahaha *GR mode on*
@Reis: you are sooooo brondong ya, I mean mentally :P
Hummm, ntah napa, tapi emang rasanya kalo dari situs2 itu emang susah banget nyari temen2 cong. Temen-temen cong gw juga kalo ga ketemu di blog, malah udah temenan dulu sebelum ketauan cong.
BTW, ini sebenernya yang diomongin si Ed itu Arema kah? *garuk-garuk kepala*
Zhuge Liang, eh salah, Zhou You, nope, gw blom pernah ktemu ma si empunya blog ini.
@arema: I dont really think you in that way - it doesnt really matter whether you're top or bot. I was that close but changed my mind because.... I didnt wanna ruin the good relationship we had so far. haha.. It is childish, isn't it? ANyway, forget it. Setelah seharian berpikir, gw sampai di satu kesimpulan. I'll add you all guys to my YM (my FB kalo perlu), dan I'm going to put u all in my blog-list.
@lucky: you know, kalo saja kamu ga married, udah gw kejar2 kamu. karena hanya untukmu, aku rela jadi brondong selamanya. hahahaha hahaha.. *becandaaaa*. Seneng banged sih ledekin orang. huh...
@Zhou yu.. emang susah nyari temen dari situs begituan. Karena itu gw ga niatan nyari temen dari situ. Semua temen gw yang berlabel cong yah kalo ga dari chatroom yah dari blog ini...
For your record, gw belom pernah ketemu ama rekan2 blog di sini.. :-)
Ada dua yang nyaris ketemu. Satunya berujung ke silent treatment, satunya sekarang sibuk dengan project dia, yang sedikit banyak juga di-encourage oleh gue..
Reis, gw baru tahu klo loe batalin janjinya 2 kali ya???
Pantes aja klo gitu.....
dooh, pada ngomongin gw yah. cape deh!!! Gw cuman lagi pengen diem....
cm sekedar ngebawel ya...
g punya seh temen2 bot, dan sesama bot surprisingly kita pada akur2 aja, ya klo sekedar saling mencerca dan ngeledek seh itu biasa bgt, tapi ya intinya kita saling sayang dan peduli.
mungkin karena kita smua seleranya beda2 kali ya, jadi ga saling cakar2an rebutan top...
ahahahahhahaha
anyway, my point is; try to widened your horizon...menambah teman itu ga ada ruginya. klo emang toleransi elo kurang, ya dilatih dulu dgn sekedar kenal kadang2 kontek, trus nanti mulai berkembang jadi sering kabar2in...sampe nanti ujung2nya malah sering hang-out bareng...good luck!!
@Apis.. Yaollo buuuk... situ kok langsung berasa artiiisss.. xixixi...
(copy langsung dari komennya Jo di blog gw)
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