The Unsent Letter

Hi, how are you? It's been a while, hasn't it? I hope you're fine - no, I know you're fine because I pray for you silently, every night, before I go to bed. Part of it is wishing you're here with me, hugging me so tight and all the silly things you used to do with me..But most of it is just to wish you a very happy and healthy life ahead. There's no reason that you shouldn't be happy and whole and contended. 

Hey, I am fine too. I am trying so hard not to be sad every day, I am trying to be a more cheerful. Don't get all work up, I am really fine. It's just that, there are times when I need you to be my friend, someone I can talk to whenever I have a love matter. I need you to tell me that this guy and that guy can't be relied on and that I shouldn't be so stupid at the first time. Because you know me the best. You know me better than I do - which is why you did what you did at the time.... 

Gee, I keep finding myself trying to make a smile as I write this. You know, this year, I have learnt a lot of things - although it doesn't directly mean that I already master it well, but you know, stuff like growing up into a more mature person - they're supposed to be a never-ending lesson, right? Now I have come to the term that perhaps you don't want to be my friend anymore - perhaps it's too hurtful to think about all those things that happened and didn't happen in the past - or whatever we could have but we didn't. I get that. Long as you're happy, and whole, like I mentioned in the first lines, then I am happy. I have to be happy. 

Speaking of happiness, hey it's your birthday again. I found myself playing the same music you liked - I didn't know if you still liked them - then summoning up all my strength to cheer up a little bit. I remembered the first time we celebrated my birthday - and your birthday - together. I'd carry them as I progress along with my life. 

Happy birthday, my dear eternal spring. Happy belated birthday. I wish you to have a really happy life ahead, perhaps a nice family to come home to, and that you'd never be lacking of anything. 


hugs,
ed........