The Happy Endings

Max: God you're perfect!

Grant: Oh, come on, Max! Nobody's perfect!

Max: Ssh! Save it for them. I don't care.

(Happy Endings, S02E14)

I was writing about how great and handsome the guy Grant (played by James Wolk, who also starred in comedy You Again as Kristen Bell's hot brother), and how sad I was that the character Grant and Max didn't make it, then I realized one thing: it was not so important anymore. 

Instead, I remembered one conversation I had with my boyfriend regarding Max (I knew I should have uploaded Adam Pally, the guy who portrays him instead but I didnt), about how Max was different from the stereotypical gay guys: He's chubby, he mostly didnt care about anything - including his fashion choice, and he ate a lot. I think we need that kind of guy more - not someone who's paying too much attention on what to wear, how to behave, etc that they forget the very essence of their own existence: being happy and being whole as themselves. 

So, to the genuine gay guys out there. Whoever you are. Para hoy. Live the day.

The Morning Has You

The sun would always rise, or so I thought. I have never really considered the possibility that one day it would stop rising and then the world as we all know it, would just disappear. Yet that early morning, the sky was still fervently indigo, and the mighty sun was still nowhere to be spotted in the eastern horizon. 

From the balcony I was standing in, there was a bit cold feeling clinging in the weather, but the atmosphere for sure felt fresh. I hugged my arms tight, watching the gentle wind blowing all the trees and taking away some of their leaves, before eventually leaving them behind. I watched those leaves falling down to the empty yard like green confetti after a big orchestra. I have always loved falling leaves since forever ago, as to me it was like a grant poetic gesture. Was it about loss? Or solitude? Or an atonement to the past? 

I turned my head to the bedroom behind. The curtain stood still, and the indistinct ray of light had created a shadow on the floor. I could see that he's still sleeping, soundly; the very same peaceful face I had touched the night before. I smiled remembering every detail, and the same time, he opened his eyes, still sleepy, but I could feel that he's smiling too. 

He reached for his glasses, then still with only his boxer pants, he walked through the sliding door to the balcony and hugged me from behind. 

'It's cold here,' he said. But he's warm. He lied his chin on my shoulder. 
'It's beautiful here.' I said. I turned to him. He kissed me. 

It was the very first morning we wake up together. 

the warmth

It was already dark outside when I returned home. I was extremely tired but the thinking that he'd be inside waiting for me, had carved a smile on my face. So I opened the door very slowly, as if the serenity would break had I created loud noises and then he'd run to the door just to find me.I took my shoes off, gently, then with my socks still on, tip-toeing to the kitchen nearby to wash my face. I had wanted to always look fresh and lively when with him. 

He was reading by the fireplace in our small library, the smooth carpet and a moderately big sofa just in the middle had made the room cozy and comfortable. For a moment I stood still, couldn't decide the source of the warmth radiating from the room: is it him or the yellowish reading light? I hugged his shoulder and he greeted me while putting his book away. It was a book by Kafka, the one that he had spent almost forever to look for. 

 

'How are you?' He said, lightly kissed me. 

'Tired,' I said, walking around the sofa and sat beside him.

He smiled, 'Come,' he patted his laps, to which then I lied my head down. 

'I miss you,' he said again, his hand caressing my hair. I sometimes still found myself quite amazed by his small gesture despite the years being together. I looked at him again very closely, and this time he returned my gaze. There was this peaceful serenity again, and it was as if nothing else mattered. It was like there's this warm blanket covering us, that I was safe in his arms, and that we could forget the rest of the world for a while. And more importantly, that we had each other for God-knows how long.

 

'I miss you too,' saying that more to myself as I know he would have known already.  And that precise moment, I know that the warmth was radiating from him.